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By anotherone, unless otherwise noted

Registered: 02-01

i can't beleive i read 3 pages and still never found the Something Awful Fag. this is the worst Where's Waldo? ripoff ever

07-17 08:55
Registered: 06-00

bradlee47 wrote this stupid shit:
i can't beleive i read 3 pages and still never found the Something Awful Fag.

Duh. Look in a mirror.
07-17 09:08

1: HALP! I'm new here and people make fun of me no matter what I post!

The Section where I help newbies
OK, if you're a newbie, there are a number of things you should know. Everything you need to know not to be banned from the board is listed in the forum rules. If you haven't read them you're asking for it. And don't say that you haven't seen the link, because whenever you try to reply it says "Read the fucking forum rules before posting!" right above where you type. So after you read that, read the "official" FAQ here. That will save you from making posts that say "HOW DO I POST IMAGES?/" which will get you flamed back to the stone age. After you read those two documents, read The Official Anotherone Newbie Guide!. Which is this thing right here.

Before you post anything, and I do mean anything, lurk for about two weeks at the very least. That means read every thread, and do not post anywhere. Read the exchanges between users. Note that ppl who tlak leik tihs and say u and r and ur and pls rarely go anywhere on the forums. Note that people who ask dumb questions get flamed. Note that there are a great many unwritten rules. (I'm trying to catalogue them, but I will miss some.) Note that you can edit and delete your posts and threads. This is a big one. You can also close your own threads. This is vastly underused- if your thread turns into a dinosaur game you can simply close it by scrolling to the bottom and clicking "Close Thread".

Look at the Gas Chamber. Learn from the mistakes of others. Look in the Goldmine. Learn from the genius of others.

Do not try to spark debates, but be prepared to defend yourself. Flamewars are never good, but they happen. Grow a sense of humor or get out. Some people are assholes, plain and simple. A little bit of conflict is good, but people who go out of their way to cause trouble are assholes and everyone else on the forums thinks it. Don't worry about it if someone is being a complete asshole to you, most likely (unless you're just retarded) public opinion is on your side. 

If there's anything that you are SURE is not answered in this FAQ, the Forums FAQ, or the forum rules; and you honestly can't figure it out on your own, add me to your ICQ list list and talk to me from there. If you don't have ICQ, get it.

2: SA stuff 

Why doesn't Lowtax run ad banners?
Because there is almost no market for ad banners nowadays, especially on independent E/N style websites. He used to, of course; but after not being paid for months at a time, he decided to run his own ads. The fake ads he runs now were (for the most part) designed by goons, mocking the old eFront ads.

How can I donate money to Lowtax if I don't have paypal?
Email Fistgrrl.

Where did Lowtax's name come from?
There was a politician a while back who called himself Byron "Low Tax" Looper. He was slated to lose the election, so he murdered his opponent. (AP story on the topic) Rich liked the guy's spunk and took the name upon himself..

What happened to Wow That's Amazing, Bjorner B., and Taco?
Lowtax changed ISPs a few months back, and the new one didn't allow multiple FTP accounts. Since these were the only three Hosted sites that were actually someone other than Lowtax (or Fragmaster, who 'tax trusts with the main password), they were simply moved to different servers. Wow That's Amazing is gone (although it may be back sometime), Bjorner B. is here, and Taco The Wonder Dog (TAOC TEH WODNER DOUGH) is here

So you mean that Jeff K. is fake?
Oh, heh, no, not at all! Jeff K, Cliff Yablonski, Leonard "J" Crabs, and L-Bone all live together in a one-room apartment in East Appleton with Santa Claus and the tooth fairy.

Can I bbe a moderator?

What should I put in my sig?
Anything you want, as long as it falls within the rules. 3 lines of text and 2 images, with a total of smaller than 60k.
NOTE however, that if your sig is too large people will complain that your sig is too big.
What you actually put in it doesn't matter. NOTE: porn or other disgusting things are not acceptable in signatures. While posting porn will usually get your post edited and put you on probation, putting bad things in your sig will get you banned quickly.

What is the picture archive?
How do I get my picture added to the archive?
How do i get my cam added to the portals?
How do i get a email address?
These questions are answered on the website here.

Why does Lowtax charge for accounts now?
Lowtax handles that question pretty well here. Let me add; this is the BEST thing that's happened to the forums in as long as I can remember. So many fewer morons post. The fact that any yahoo can't just get an account now, combined with the lower tolerance for breaking rules, has had a Darwinian effect on the forums.

Why can only mods use the and icons?

What were the various image macros?
[img-timeline] - Note that there were dozens of variations of this one. Things were added before "You Are Here" such as "Birth of Finagler" (replacing "Birth of Black Jesus" after he admitted that he was 30 years old) and "Olsens Twins release first porn" slightly after "NOW". Other interesting variations included a back to the future style "split" timeline which had "Our 1985" and "Alternate 1985 where Biff stole sports almanac and owns Hill Valley." Using this image for any reason is REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING and should not be done. It's now common to post the timeline for timeline, since it's old. This starts a giant timeline posting loop which consumes the entire forum in a giant timeline black hole. Using img-timeline will get you banned.
There were more but I don't remember them. Sorry.

3: Technical stuff

Where can I get free webspace to use for my images?
Most free space providers nowadays banish outside image linking. Some that allow it:

Where can I find images to use for stuff?
The master of all image search engines is at

What HTML tags can I use?
You can't use HTML, but you can use "vbcode". Here's a quick rundown of what's allowed:

[mod]This is a special tag that lets you easily use all three of the above tags without a lot of typing.[/mod]
[quote]This text will be put in a special quote block.[/quote] Note: You can use just [/quote], which puts a horizontal line in your post.
[code]Puts your code in a "code block," which is like a quote block except it's monospaced. Use it for your code and ASCII art.[/code]
[s] This tag USED to be strikethrough, but a certain Pokey the Penguin Obsessed goon overused it and drove it into the ground. Now using it shows the following: I AM A FAG![/s]
[url=""]Something Awful[/url] or just [url][/url]
[img][/img] (This will display whatever image is at that URL.)

If that didn't make much sense you can see the REAL forums vbCode list here.


{{{{{{{X}}}}}}}}: See Huggles.

1337: "leet". A bastardization of 31337 which in turn is a bastardization of Elite. Basically, "cool". It's traditional to take a screenshot of your 1337th post and flaunt it in your sig, however; since postcounts are off currently, that's not very possible. You can, of course, see your post count in your profile page, but that's really kind of lame if you look there after every post.

404 Tard: The guy on Something Awful's 404 Error: Page not found page. Widely speculated to be male.

Aces!: Usage: "Aces, another fucking foo thread!" Basically just, "Oh look, another thread about foo!" This started with an image macro which displayed "ACES! ANOTHER FUCKING ZERO WING THREAD!", used whenever someone posted a thread about AYBABTU.

airdisc: Karphead, for some reason, posted a thread praising the newest goon, "airdisc". It caught on and we soon gained a dozen various "I LOVE YOU AIRDISC" threads, complete with a dedicated "airdisc" thread tag. Very spiffy. As of the time I wrote this, he had one post: a thread with the "BAN ME" tag. He's currently the only non-admin to post a "BAN ME" thread without being banned. Magical.

All About One day, 20 of the 50 threads on the first page of GBS were about goatse. Lowtax created AAG to make a place for discussions about large anal openings to live. This was later merged with FYAD to create FYAG.

AAS: See All About Sex.

All About Sex: A forum where morons discuss sex. Features lots of incest. The Goons invaded it briefly and brought back several catchphrases, most notably P-Due and K THX BYE.

Ass Sandwich: A sandwich made from ass and poo. No other explanation is offered.

AYBABTU and AYB: See All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us: A quote from an old Sega game, "Zero Wing." Tom posted a thread with this as the subject and the phrase "ON THE TABLE" as the only text. By the end of the first page, people had started randomly photoshopping AYBABTU on various items. It caught on in more ways than one and "All your foo are belong to bar" became the new way of speaking. The Laziest Men on Mars made a song out of it, someone else stole the song and made a music video out of it, and together the phrase became famous. It's now completely cliché and using the phrase on the forums can get you lynched. NOTE: TV's Ian has done a much better job than I could, see his History of AYB.

Appleton City: The (Fictitious, sorry) city where several something awful characters reside, including Cliff Yablonski, and L-Bone.

Attention Whore: In these forums it refers to someone who wants constant attention and tries to get it by doing things like starting numerous threads about her/himself. Once reserved for women only, I believe the definition now covers men as well. (HPopper)

Banned: To have your account deleted. Once you're banned, you can't come back... usually. Some people get on Lowtax's good side, apologize; or somehow achieve amnesty and get back in. Banning happens when you break any of the so-called "mortal rules".

BBAB: BritishBornandBread. That's the redheaded boy you often see photoshopped onto various people. Allegedly he doesn't look like that anymore, but who can tell with those brits? [1] [2] Note that he no longer looks like that.

British Bulldog: Also B. Bulldog: A gimmick poster who mocked everyone in a British Soccer Hooligan style. It turned out that he actually was a british soccer hooligan, and he almost became accepted... until he posted a thread saying that he was sorry for being annoying, his dad didn't want him posting anymore, and he might return someday. The next day, he came back as "dpph-lurker" (His account was banned when he said he was leaving- it's forum policy.) and accused Al and a few others of conspiring to have him banned. (The ironic thing is, Al is an admin and could simply ban him.) He later sent an email to Lowtax saying that he and a few other banned posters were planning something big to destroy Something Awful completely. After some time passed and nothing happened, a few other goons received emails containing crazed threats and other sundry ravings of a lunatic.

Oddly enough, only days after he threatened to do something "big" that would "Destroy something awful", Lowtax got a legal notice that DPPH was infringing on copyrights and must be shut down immediately.

But did you get head? (Catch phrase) A poster named Urine Therapy posted lots